No Hop

Some characters and elements of this story are the property of Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy and are used without authorization. No copyright infringement is intended. The author receives no compensation from the distribution of this work. Any comments or criticism would be welcome.
 
Summary: Following the tale of Food Fright (although you don't need to read that first) Xander's good intentions go a little wrong.

Author's Notes: I was challenged to write a romance story - not something I've ever tried, and I don't think it quite worked out that way either!  But still, let me know what you think :) Good or bad.......
 

"Y'know, Xand.  I think Willow's been having some serious frog-mare-age since she heard that story about the, err, fly thing,"  Buffy whispered to Xander, glancing at their red headed friend.

"Nah.  She woulda told me.  Willow and I don't have secrets," frowned Xander.

"OK, I could be wrong.  It just seems a bit funky.  Something's not right."

Xander sighed.  "I so wish it was possible to remove your foot from your mouth after the event.  In my case lives would be saved."

"It's not that bad, Xand.  She's your best bud, you can fix it."  Buffy patted his shoulder.

    ************************

"This is good," grinned Buffy.  "Relaxing with my buds, classic movie, popcorn, no slayage..."

"Don't eat me!" cried Willow.

Xander and Buffy turned to her.  "It's not up to that part yet, Will," observed Xander.

Willow didn't respond.

"A cryptic response to lack of slayage," remarked Buffy.  "I was thinking it was of the good."

"No!" cried Willow again.

"Will?  Are you OK?" asked Xander.

"She's asleep," noted Buffy.

"No hop," yelled Willow.

In every generation there is a Chosen One.  He alone will stand against the frogs, the tadpoles and the forces of amphibiousness.  He is the Frog Slayer.

"Go," whispered Xander.  "I can deal."

"You sure?"

Xander nodded, briefly watching as Buffy crept out of the house.  He turned to Willow as she cried out again.

"The fly!"

Xander groaned, wishing again that he'd never thought to tell Buffy the story of Willow's frog fear.  He pulled her into a hug, stroking her hair.  "Shh, it'll be OK.  It won't get you."  He gently shook her.  "C'mon, Will.  Wake up.  It's just a dream."

Slowly, Willow opened her eyes.  "Xander?"

"Yeah, just me."

"Where did Buffy go?"

"Home."

"Why?"

"Will, I think you and I need to talk."  Xander looked down at her, still nestled comfortably in his arms.

" 'K," she agreed cautiously.

"How long have you been having these dreams?"

"I..."

"Will."

"Since I heard the story," she admitted reluctantly.

"Oh Will, why didn't you tell me?"

"Coz, I-I thought you'd feel bad.  And I don't want you to feel bad because of me."

"You're my best friend, Will.  You're supposed to let me feel bad for you.  That is my purpose."

"But guilt, is unfair."

"That's my choice, Will.  I wanna help.  I'm gonna cure you."

"Umm, how?"

"I have a plan," he grinned.  "But first, let's see if you can't get some frog-free sleep."  He stood up and hauled her after him.  "It's OK, I'll take the floor."

"But, Xander.  There's nothing you can do.  It's not your fault, really," insisted Willow.  "I'll be OK."

"I don't care.  I'm gonna be here when you want me.  Remember, Xander the frog slayer?"

Willow giggled slightly.  "Yeah."

"Well he's here," grinned Xander, trying to show off his muscles.

    ****************************

"Hey guys," called Buffy, spying Willow and Xander walking into the school.

"Buffy," smiled Willow.

"Hey, Will.  You look better.  Sleep well..?"

".I gotta dash," interrupted Xander.  "See ya later."  He was gone before the others could say a thing.

"Fine," responded Buffy.  "So what's up with him?"

"He stayed last night," said Willow.  "All night."

"Will!  All night?  Did anything happen?"

"No," grinned Willow.  "He was just feeling guilty.  About the frog thing."

"That's so sweet, Will."

"Yeah, he was really nice about it.  And I did sleep better.  OK, he was sweet."  Willow smiled broadly.  "Tired of me now though, a-a whole night of excessive Willowness is too much even for my best friend."

"I'm sure it's not that, Will.  He's probably just got stuff to do.  C'mon, we better get to class."

    ************************

"So, you Bronzing it tonight, Will?" asked Buffy.  "I'm thinking I should make it after I patrol."

"I don't know, umm, yeah, OK."

"Not tonight, Will," announced Xander, suddenly catching them up.  "Sorry, Buff.  We've got work to do."

"Y-you want help with your homework?" asked Willow.  "Which part?"

"It's not homework, Will."  Xander grabbed her arm and propelled her along in front of him.

"See ya, guys," chuckled Buffy, laughing at the bewildered expression on Willow's face.

"So what then, Xander?  Why are we rushing?  Where are we going?"

"What?  I can't spend time with my bestest bud?" protested Xander.  "I need a reason now?"

"Well, this is kind of, umm, unusual?  More often you suggest we go to the Bronze, or maybe the ice cream place?  One time..."

"So this is a surprise.  And it's not like you've never been to my house before, Will.  Where's the weird here?"

"With the, umm, rushing?  And maybe the abandoning Buffy part."

"She'll be OK, she's got slaying stuff to do anyway, she said so," declared Xander triumphantly.  "And I checked with Giles too, no crises.  So you have no excuse to escape me all evening.  Face it Willow Rosenberg, you're doomed to put up with me.  May as well make the best of it."

"And the why?"

"For that you have to wait, until we're inside," he announced dramatically, unlocking his front door.

Still puzzled, Willow followed him in, and up to his room.

"I got you something," Xander informed her.  "You ready?"  He placed his hand over her eyes.  "Guess what."

She fingered the object he handed her carefully.  "Definitely stuffed animal..."

"Warm, but you haven't got me yet."

"It's a frog!" exclaimed Willow.

"Oh, OK.  You're too good for me."

"But a frog.  You know I don't...  Why, Xander?"

"It'll keep away all the other bad frogs, Will.  If I'm not around to do it, of course."

Willow looked at him sceptically.  "But Xander, I'm sixteen."

"OK, it's coz I want you to remember that there is at least one good frog in the world."

Willow smiled, and gave him a hug.  "It's really nice of you, Xander, but you shouldn't feel guilty.  It's not your fault."

"This isn't guilt mode, this is cure mode.  In which I make all bad frogs go away."

"C-cure?"  Willow suddenly felt nervous.  More nervous than she could remember feeling, sat in her best friend's room.  "How?"

"Amy?" called Xander, summoning the witch from outside.  "Now."

Amy simply nodded to him.

     ******************

Suddenly, everything around Willow seemed a lot bigger.  The bed stood huge and towering beside her, and the piles of clothes seemed more like mountains.  She began to feel even more nervous.  Something was going on, something Hellmouthy.

Then she saw the frog.  A frog bigger than she was.  Panic instantly overran her concerns over the size of the bed, and she turned to run, only then realising that it was impossible.  She could only hop.

Before she could digest the fact that she and Xander had both been turned into frogs, apparently at his request, Xander's Mum entered the room.

"I can't believe this mess!" she exclaimed.  "And frogs, lose?  Well, they're not staying, no way."  She disappeared momentarily, reappearing with a pair of rubber gloves.  Before they could escape, the two small frogs had landed in the bushes at the front of Xander's house.

Willow sat, stunned, for a moment before noticing the larger frog once more moving towards her.  She backed away.  She knew it was probably Xander, but it was still a frog.  And now it was bigger than her.

As she backed away, the ground suddenly moved beneath her.  A human hand once more lifted her into the air.  This time the hand made no effort to claim the other frog, but the frog leaped after her, landing almost on top of her.  Willow tried to calm herself.  "It's only Xander.  It has to be Xander.  Not a frog at all," she repeated to herself.  "And I-I can't run anywhere anyway.  I gotta be calm, like with, umm."

    ***********************

Xander couldn't believe what had happened.  Not only had his mother made her annual excursion into his room and found them, but then the biology teacher, Mr Jameson, had picked up Willow.  "I can't believe my luck with biology teachers," he muttered, wishing he could speak to Willow.

Even completely changed, he could feel Willow's distress.  She was frightened and upset.  Worst of all, she was frightened of him, if perhaps a little less now that she was sure it was him.  It still hurt, he couldn't bear Willow to be afraid of him, ever, and he knew it was all his fault.  His whole idea had been to show her a frog that there could be no reason to be afraid of.  Once more he had messed up big time.  He wondered if Willow would forgive him this time.

Suddenly, Xander realised that he had stopped moving.  Looking round, he saw that they were back at school, in the biology lab, with Mr Jameson obviously gone.  Immediately, Xander thought, "leave."  It was only then that he noticed the jar which held him.  And Willow, looking afraid and alone, in an identical jar beside him.  Xander knew it was time to use his new legs.  He began to desperately fling himself at the sides of the jar, knowing that he had to either tip it over or jump out altogether.

Finally, his efforts paid off and the jar tipped, much to Xander's surprise and relief.  "I must be a bigger than average frog," he decided, realising that Willow would have no such advantage.  He moved over to her jar.

Willow didn't move, she simply sat and shivered, not responding one way or the other to Xander's appearance.  Xander began flinging himself at the jar, knowing that without her help there was no way he could tip it.

He frowned, he had to save her somehow.  The concept of Willow being dissected by some student because of one of his mistakes was too much to bear.  So he continued to try, all the while quietly muttering to himself, praying that Willow would respond.

Some hours later, Xander was no closer to gaining a response from a captured Willow, or to tipping the jar containing her.  He came to the conclusion that desperate measures were called for.  Slowly, but surely, he pushed Willow's jar nearer to the edge of the desk, all the while pleading with her to pay attention when she landed.

As the jar fell from the desk, Xander dived after it, almost hoping to catch her before she hit the ground.  Instead, he landed mere inches from a shivering, but unharmed, Willow.  He nudged her, trying to provoke a response.  She simply stared at him.

Slowly, Xander moved to stand beside her, and placed a single webbed foot over hers.  He had no idea if the gesture would calm Willow, but he had to try.  To his relief, she didn't pull away, she let him touch her, and her terror gradually eased.  When her shaking finally stopped, he nudged her towards the open door.

They were almost at the door when Xander looked up and saw a single, huge, frog stood in their path.  He felt Willow begin to back away, moving towards him, the first sign she had given that she was maybe recovering from her shock, and that she trusted him.  Charged by the new ray of hope, Xander moved directly in front of the large frog and glared at it as fiercely as he could.

The frog simply hopped away.

Elated, Xander turned to see Willow looking significantly perkier.  he nudged her on, continuing their journey towards to the sanctuary of the library.

     *****************

Buffy raced into the library, almost causing Giles to spill his cup of tea.  "Giles!"

"What?  Is the school on fire?  Should we evacuate?  Or can I sit down and finish my tea?"

Buffy glared at him.  "Willow and Xander have vanished."

"Vanished?  In what sense?  Did you see it?"

"No, just not here, not at home.  Not anywhere.  Very wiggy, worried parents.  The kind of disappeared."

"I've been on the Hellmouth too long," muttered Giles.  "So when did you see them?"

"Last night, after school.  Xander was acting all weird.  He dragged Willow out of here so fast her feet almost forgot to touch the ground."

"Err, oh.  Right.  A little unusual, but hardly cause for alarm, Buffy."

"Wrong.  I'm alarmed," came a third voice.

"Amy?  You know where they are?" demanded Buffy.  "Are they OK?"

"I don't know where they are." began Amy.

".I sense a but." observed Giles.

".I know what they are," she finished sheepishly.

"What did you do?" asked Buffy advancing on Amy.

"I was doing Xander a favour," she protested, backing away slightly.

"What kind of favour?" pressed Buffy.

"I turned them both into frogs."

"I fail to see how even Xander could consider that a favour," commented Giles.

"So turn them back," said Buffy.

"It's not that simple.  I went back to his room and they weren't there...  If I just turn them back they could be anywhere, and naked.  I promised I'd be careful about that."

"Considering the danger they may be in, I suggest you turn them back, immediately.  Do you have any idea what could happen to two frogs with no inbuilt sense of preservation?"

"I..."

"Now," stressed Giles.

Amy sighed in resignation, glaring briefly at both Buffy and Giles.  Then, she raised her arms and began the reverse spell.

"Oh my," said Giles, turning a vivid shade of red.

As Giles opened his mouth, Willow realised where she was and what was happening.  She let out a squeak and dashed behind the stacks, embarrassed.  She couldn't believe Xander could have done this to her.

Xander held his ground in front of Giles, Amy and Buffy, trying to cover himself.  "Err, hi."

"Xander," said Giles.  "I think we had better have a word about the use of magic for personal gain."

"Those were so not the words I was thinking about," responded Xander.

"Oh, right.  I suppose not."  Giles turned to Amy.  "Thank you for your help, Amy.  I think perhaps we had better see to things not.  And, Buffy?  maybe you could check on Willow?"

"Right," replied Buffy, trying not to giggle at Xander's embarrassment.  "It's a new look, Xand," she finally spluttered, before following Willow into the stacks.

"Xander.  I believe I have some spare clothing in my office.  Follow me," ordered Giles.

"Just when I thought the day couldn't get any worse," mumbled Xander.  "Now I'm gonna be tweed-boy."

"Will?" called Buffy.  "It's only me, you don't need to hide."

"I do.  He's humiliated me, again.  I can't face the world, o-or even the school.  They're all gonna know.  And Giles..."

"... Giles was more embarrassed than you were, Will.  Trust me," smiled Buffy.

Willow sniffed quietly.

"Look, I've got some spare clothes, just over there."  Buffy motioned into the library.  "And I can get them.  You won't be here long enough for anyone to notice."

    *********************

"See?  It's all gone now, Will.  You can smile again,"  Buffy tried to cheer her friend up.

"I can't.  I feel like Xander's trying to taunt me somehow.  O-or maybe I'm the butt of a joke that I don't understand."

"I'm sure he didn't mean it like that, Will.  He was trying to help you, wasn't he?"

"But I don't think he ever thinks it through first, how I might feel about it.  Him scaring me to death then embarrassing me.  Look, people are still staring at me now.  Xander's probably told everyone how I was naked in the library."

"Will, they're staring at you coz you look nice, you look great.  Usually you're all shy, and now you're borrowing my clothes and they look good on you and maybe I should shut up now."

"It's OK," smiled Willow.  "It's not your fault.  I just don't understand what goes on in Xander's head sometimes."

     ***********

Xander kicked the floor as he shuffled along the corridor, feeling ridiculous in Giles' shirt and overlong trousers.  He couldn't believe how badly wrong things had gone with Willow.  He'd seen how mad she was at him, justifiably, and couldn't imagine how he was going to get her to forgive him.

For a moment his heart leapt as he caught a glimpse of her at the other end of the corridor.  He imagined she was going to come over to speak to him, as she always had.  But she ignored him, avoided even looking at him.  She had no need for him anymore, Xander concluded.  he could see the looks the guys were giving her, finally noticing his Willow.  He didn't like it.

    **********************

The stuffed frog he'd given her sat quietly mocking at the end of his bed, serving as a constant reminder of the mess he'd made.  Xander gazed at it, trying to will the clock back so that all he had done was given her the frog.  Everything had been all right then.  Before he'd got Amy involved.  "I always had to go too far," he groaned.  "I'm such an idiot."  He buried his head in the pillow.  "Please come back, Will," he mumbled.

    **********************

Willow wandered slowly away from school, leaving Buffy and Giles to their training.  She needed time to herself, time to think.  "Or not," she added to herself, as her mind wandered back to that moment in the library.  "I just need a good sulk, because everyone needs to mope sometimes," she decided aloud, her pace increasing slightly.  "But everyone needs their best friend too," she added, slowing again.

Step by step, she moved closer to home, not glancing up from the concrete beneath her feet once.  Her mind focused on just one thing, Xander.  As her foot once more hit the ground, Willow noticed a small, dark, object watching her from a few inches in front of her foot.  It gazed at her intently, apparently unafraid.

Willow took a breath, preparing to scream, but the sound never came.  She wasn't afraid.  It was just a little frog.  She smiled slightly.  "Just a frog," she said loudly.  As the frog watched, Willow turned and ran the other way.

    ************************

Xander's senses returned to hear a loud hammering at the front door.  He groaned loudly.  "Go away.  Can't a guy get some quality depression time round here?"  But the hammering persisted, so he dragged himself off the bed and down to the door.  He barely had time to register the figure stood at the doorstep before he felt it wrap its arms around him.

"Willow," he whispered gratefully., kicking the door closed behind her.  "I'm sorry I messed up."

"It's OK, you didn't," she panted in his ear.  "I'm cured."

"It worked?"  Xander's grin slowly grew.  "I am the plan guy."  His mind did a little dance, not only was Willow here, hugging him, but his plan worked.

"It really did," whispered Willow.  "You were great."

Xander held her away from him for a moment, looking seriously into her eyes.  "Please don't go away again, Will.  I couldn't bear it."

"I won't," she giggled, kissing him gently on the cheek.

Xander grinned, he'd finally done something right.
 
 

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